eidolonic | (no subject)

Entry tags:

psl: estinien

(no subject)

[Krile had always been aware of the missing pages in her memory. The confirmation that Materia had carefully detached and filed them away hadn't come as a surprise.

And it had given Krile to wonder: what was so terrible in her past that Materia thought she couldn't possibly live with it? She remembered her parents' permanent disappearance, and Grandpa sneaking away to go to the other world without her, and almost losing her wind drake. There really was only other possibility, which she had tried very hard not to take as certainty. Okay, Grandpa was prone to saying things like I'm willing to accept any fate and even if it consumes the last of my energies. But there wasn't point in assuming it until she knew for sure...

Well, now she knew. And now she wished that Materia had had any comprehension of what she'd been doing. Krile wouldn't say she'd been over Galuf's death, but she had been coming to terms with it. Now she's that person, and the grieving, horrified girl in the Guardian Tree, at the same time.

But with her manikin's brilliance had come other things than sorrow. Everything that Grandpa had given her before his spirit departed for the afterlife--the strength, the stamina, the skills--they're there again, only it's been ages since she's put any of them to use. She has to relearn how to fight that way, which means asking for someone's help unless she wants to knock someone across a clearing by mistake--or jump up and land in a completely different patch of monsters.

So after hunting around the airship for a bit, she's found the person she's looking for up on the deck.]

Hey, Estinien. [...] Can I ask you something?

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[With naught else to do, Estinien leans against the rail of the airship, staring off into the distance. He can't say that he's lost in his thoughts, for that would imply that he had any to begin with; for the time being, he simply exists, not unlike a clump of moss or a particularly statuesque barnacle.

Awareness returns to him once Krile approaches. Ah, she's had some troubles recently, hasn't she? Though he's not sure why she's seeking him out. After all, she would certainly prefer to seek comfort or counsel from her original comrades, would she not? Then again, perhaps a neutral party is what's needed right now. He hums to himself, tilting his head as he looks at her]

If you wish - though, to be frank, I'm not certain what I could help you with that others on this ship cannot.

[He's not unwilling, just a little confused]

[~~her original comrades are so bad at expressing emotions they have been known to wait until the rest of the party is on another continent to do so~~]

[Everyone is pretty well-aware now of what happened and although they may not know the full story, it's enough that Krile has generally had sympathy, or pity, or people trying to buck her up. None of those are bad (even the pity, because she understands why) but it is true that she's not trying to find any of those things right now.

Especially as her request needs to be prefaced with some explanation. "Please teach me to be a dragoon again" won't make much sense otherwise.]

No, this one you'd be especially good at.

[Estinien being like a barnacle is helpful here. She takes a deep breath, willing herself to stay composed.]

When Grandpa--[nope okay skipping that word.

hang on.]--I took his place. With Bartz and the others. Grandpa passed his strength on to me so I could fight. I remember all that again but...

One of the things he could do, and I did too, was being a Dragoon. I want to fight like that again, but it's been a long time. So--would you help me learn how to do it again?

[whew. okay. there.]

~~[That is, as the kids say, a big mood]~~

[He remains silent as she speaks, his expression neutral save for a brief raise of his brow when she mentioned dragoons. It's not as if he does not care, but he assumes that she's had enough pity from everyone else to last her a lifetime. The best thing to do is to remain calm, steady-]

That depends. Just how much experience did you have with the lance before you came here?

[-and, as always, firm. Besides, it's an important question. After all, there's a world of difference between someone whose lance has already tasted blood and a rookie who has yet to even take to the skies.]

[Estinien's response is a businesslike one, which isn't a surprise, but is a relief nonetheless. Now she can go about the rest of this conversation without having to fight back tears... talking about her journey with Bartz, Lenna, and Faris is much easier than talking about why she joined them.]

A pretty fair amount. We had a lot of battles to fight before we finally beat Exdeath.

[she'd gotten along well the the spirit in the dragoon shard; what personality was left there was effortlessly confident, it had shared a good rapport with her grandfather, and it had been part of the Earth crystal, all things that were reassuring.

not to mention that when you're five foot one and not yet used to monsters trying to bite your head off, a weapon with a long reach is quite helpful.]

There were other skills I learned from the crystal shards, but that was the one I used the most.

[also dragoon jumping is just. fun.]

Edited 2020-04-26 22:23 (UTC)

[He'd be lying if he said he didn't have mixed feelings regarding her answer. When he was her age, his fiercest foes were sparring partners, training dummies, and the occasional beastkin; it would be some time before Alberic deemed him ready for a real fight. However, as unpleasant as her past may be, it is little different than what she is forced to do now - and what they are all forced to accept.

The mention of crystal shards distracts him from his thoughts, and he raises his brow before he tilts his head and gives an approving hum.]

That certainly makes my job easier - and these crystal shards, as you call them, seem no different than my own crystal.

Edited 2020-05-14 06:39 (UTC)

[She smiles a tiny bit at that.]

Don't worry, I know how to jump up and down. But I wouldn't want to aim for a behemoth and land on Edge. [inasmuch as Edge would generally deserve that.] Your crystal... it's got the spirit of a dragoon in it too?

[Though. She hopes Estinien received his crystal via a different method than how the Light Warriors got theirs.]

[That comment gets a little smirk from him - Edge probably would deserve it, but that is beside the point. However, that vanishes when she mentions how her stone works, and he furrows his brow as he fixes her with a look. How literal is she being here?]

The Soul of the Dragoon is not a man's actual soul. No, they are records of their deeds, and from their memories we are able to draw upon their strength and wisdom long after they have passed on to Halone's blessed hall.

Edited 2020-05-20 23:10 (UTC)

[hah, she made him smirk. she likes achieving that.]

Oh--that's not quite the same, then. The warriors who saved my world a thousand years ago put their selves into the Crystals in case their help was ever needed again.

But then, they'd been there so long... they could teach us their skills and their strength, but they didn't have clear memories anymore. Just... purpose.

[Not that they lacked in personality. But names, or who they'd known, or where in the world they were from... it was all hazy, just impressions.

She would have liked to see their actual memories. Or perhaps not. From everything the scholars know, Enuo was probably worse than Exdeath was.]

Hmph. What a wretched fate...

[To be so devoted to one's duty, one's purpose, that it subsumes their entire sense of self... it is too familiar for his liking. He lowers his gaze for a moment, shaking his head before continuing on. There is no reason to burden the girl with his melancholy.]

But worry not - I have no interest in letting their sacrifice go to waste, and nor do you, if you have sought me out to continue your training. We shall begin on the morrow, once we land the ship and find a safe place to set up camp.

[What's done is done. There is no use in mourning what cannot be changed.]

Edited (wrong icon) 2020-05-21 00:42 (UTC)

[Wretched? It wouldn't have occurred to Krile to think of it in such a way. Sad, perhaps, wistful. But the dragoon, and the other spirits, had never seemed to regret the choice they'd made. If anything, they were pleased that they could lend their aid to the new generation of warriors.

...Especially when they had proved so unable to protect the crystals that every one of them had shattered.

Still, when Estinien goes on, she smiles. She's sure he'll be a stringent taskmaster, but if she's going to get as strong and skilled as she used to be, that's what she needs.]

I'll be ready. [the world of respite, regardless of what it's intended to be, certainly hasn't been lacking in weapons--lances among them.] ...But if you ever visit the Earth Crystal on my world, don't call it wretched. I think the Dragoon and the others would be kind of irritated.

[That last comment breaks the tension, and he can't help but laugh. It's a sharp, short, bark of a laugh, something that could be mistaken for a sound of surprise instead of amusement, but there's a twinkle in his eye that lingers afterward]

As would I, were someone were to say the same thing about my own life. While I doubt that I shall be making their acquaintance any time soon, you have my word that I will hold my tongue in their presence.

[She giggles at the thought of Estinien holding a conversation with the ancient warriors. Probably the dragoon would like him. Possibly the dancer would try to flirt.

...actually the mental image of Estinien in certain of the ancient warriors' garb is enough that she has to quickly stop thinking about it, or she'd double over, melancholy or no.]

Good. Wouldn't want you to offend a bunch of ancient warrior spirits. But they'd probably like you.

[she has questions about how Estinien did become a dragoon, since it's obviously a way of life for him, and not a skillset hastily granted to deal with a crisis. she'll ask them at some point, but she's not going to pry just now--if she was to guess, it would be that there are some reasons not unlike her own.]

Though I guess you would also know some different techniques than they used, too.

[That's a sweet thought, but to be frank, the opinions of spirits he may never meet mean little to him. She moves on quickly, though, and he nods in response.]

While I know not what techniques your warriors dreamed up, it is not an unfair assumption. After all, the ways men fight are borne from their circumstances - whom they are fighting, where they are fighting, and what resources they have at their disposal. A knight who forgets this, one who treats each foe he meets and each battlefield he approaches in the same way as the last, walks unwittingly to his own grave.

[...he says, with the same casual air as one talking about errands or the weather.]

[How very cheerful, Estinien. Though it's a valid statement. There were certainly a few times, when she was getting used to fighting, that a quick intervention from Bartz, Lenna, or Faris were what got between her inexperience and a phoenix down. (And sometimes she needed the phoenix down anyway.) She doesn't want to get into that kind of trouble again if she can possibly avoid it. Phoenix downs are no guarantee.]

Well, that's certainly a path I want to avoid taking. [She doesn't mean the same path as Grandpa took; he knew exactly what he was doing. But also... his friends, particularly Faris, were happy to complain about the times when he decided he could just stomp all over something that wasn't susceptible to stomping and needed a few bashes with the Healing Staff to get back up.] And there are certain creatures you don't want to land on from a great height... or where you can't reach a great height without bonking your head on a stalactite.

[He tilts his head, and there's a hint of a smile on his face as he amuses himself with some private joke.]

You would be surprised how spacious caverns can be at times. But aye, you have the right of it, more or less. While the dragoon is unmatched in the air, we are at a disadvantage in tight spaces - which is why we shall start with the basics tomorrow. Before I see you take to the skies, I would see how well you can handle a lance while keeping your feet on the ground.

Right--that's a good idea. There's point in trying to jump if I'm just going to trip over my own spear.

[She's definitely going to spend the rest of the day trying to refamiliarize herself with the lance as much as she can on her own. Because as she recalls, she did spend most of her time taking to the skies. Partly because it was enjoyable, but her fellow Light Warriors did rather encourage it. Which she suspects now has a lot to do with the fact that dragoons in the air are well out of range of claws and teeth.]

And... I think it will be good to learn properly. Having it all at once was--[wait, too close--

--okay.]--it was what we needed to have. But I want to learn from the ground up.

[is that a stupid joke? yes, of course, this is ffv.]

Edited (fussing with formatting) 2020-05-22 03:57 (UTC)

[Wait, all at once?! Did she truly get her crystal without any training whatsoever? Estinien stares down at her, eyes wide for a moment, before he sighs and shakes his head. What's done is done.]

Yes, yes, 'tis important to build your skills from the grou-

[...wait. He sees what you did there, Krile.]

-it is of great importance to grasp the fundamentals of lancework, before you move on to greater things.

[It is... odd, she knows. Grandpa and the others might have gotten the start of their skills from the crystal shards, but they still had to take time to learn and understand what it was like to be a knight, a bard, a summoner. And there were shards that she connected with which Grandpa hadn't, and ones which he had but she didn't. But most of it--it all came in a rush. It wasn't easy to get used to.

Maybe that's why the sigh and the shake of the head. She hopes it isn't because he's feeling bad for her. She doesn't want to feel bad about it, she wants to make use of her grandfather's gift to her...

......heh heh heh. gotcha, estinien.]

Makes sense. [okay, she's done looking overly pleased with herself now.] ...How long did it take you to become a dragoon? I know the soldiers back home start training--well, around my age, but they aren't doing this kind of specialized fighting.

[it's not a question of impatience, since she's aware it takes years to become truly skilled. she'd just like to know how it's supposed to go.]

[He nods along]

And I was only a little younger than you when I was first allowed to train with a lance. Nearly a decade later I was accepted into the ranks of the Temple Knights, and it was a few years more 'til I was deemed worthy of the Knights Dragoon. Even then, I could not rest on my laurels - there is always more to learn, always a way to improve one's skill.

[Wait... really? So if he was twelve or thirteen when he'd started training, then he would have been older than Faris was when she became captain of her ship--for that matter, older than Kain is now as commander of Baron's dragoons. And that was just to become a knight? He must have been at least twenty-five when he became a dragoon.

...How old was the dragoon in the crystal shard when they took up their lance? Or fought Enuo, for that matter? Older than herself, she's sure, but were they as old as Estinien?]

Wow. I didn't realize Ishgard was that rigorous about it. [She knew a little about them from what he's ~~boasted~~ said already, but not to that extent.] You must've had some pretty high standards to live up to.

Me and every other dragoon to join our ranks, for our role in battle was ever the most perilous. While our fellow knights were bound to the ground beneath the feet, we rose to the skies to meet the Dravanians face to face, waging battle against flame and fang as we brought them down low, struggling all the while to make certain that they did not bring us down with them. We were the ones who won the greatest victories, but also the ones who suffered the greatest losses.

[He shakes his head, as if shaking away the memories themselves]

But that is all in the past. However, while we men and women of Ishgard may have abandoned our ancient war, we have not abandoned our standards. You would do well to keep that in mind during our training.

[Oh... yes. Ishgard's war against the dragons. Estinien and Alphinaud have only mentioned it briefly, really just to say that it was something that happened and was brought to an end. While she's glad that end was a peace accord rather than wholesale destruction of the Dravanians, she still can't think about it without feeling sorrow, considering what happened to the wind drakes of her own world.

And it gives her something else to think about. When she leapt into the air--or towards, yes, cavernous ceilings--it took her away from everything. Except for those few enemies that could launch something to knock her down, she didn't have any task other than to figure out the best way to land on whatever they were fighting. (Or how to word her complaints if they defeated it before she landed.) She hasn't thought about how to fight while she's actually up in the air.]

...Then I'll definitely learn new things from you, because I usually didn't have to fight anything between jumping and landing. [She might as well just say it plain now because it'll be obvious immediately.] Even the things that flew generally kept near the ground when they were trying to eat us.

[That earns a dark chuckle from him, though he won't elaborate on what he found so amusing]

There is a grave difference between a starving creature and a swarm of enemies. But worry not - I shall not force you into aerial combat just yet. For now, we shall stick to training dummies and errant beasts.

[He would laugh at that.]

That sounds like a better idea than getting thrown into the deep end. [...] Or. Deep sky?

[Honestly... she's looking forward to learning the thing properly. She had been learning magic that way before--before, and there was a satisfaction to mastering new spells or deepening her MP stamina. She felt the same way about connecting to the crystal shards that Grandpa had never bothered or just hadn't gotten along with and learning things from them piece by piece. It helped her feel like she was able to be strong in her own right rather than just wearing her grandfather's old things.

Really she's very relieved that Estinien's agreed to teach her. She could ask one of the others, but they're feeling Grandpa's loss too. And she couldn't ask Grandpa without getting too emotional and she--she doesn't want to let him down in that way.

...So Estinien's probably not going to be thrilled about this, but there isn't another way to express how she feels and anyway he's not wearing all his dragoon spikes right now. That makes it easy to hug him around the waist.]

[What. The hell. One moment he's answering questions and trading jests, and the next there's a pair of tiny arms wrapped around his waist. Estinien stiffens immediately, and his first instinct is to push her away-

-but then he remembers how overjoyed he was when Alberic agreed to teach him the ways of the lance. So, instead of shoving her off, he simply sighs and gives her one (1) pat on the shoulder.]

Alright, alright, that's enough of that.

Edited 2020-06-12 04:46 (UTC)

[Krile had more or less figured on Estinien acting like this was some kind of treacherous ambush. She can't help but giggle at that and his declaration that hug time is definitively over now.

...But the single pat on the shoulder does surprise her. Not in a bad way, of course. And the feeling stays with her as she lets go and steps back.]

Okay, okay.

[...Okay... Shoot. She's going to cry. She's going to cry very soon. No amount of silly dragoon puns is going to stop it, she'd just be doing it while also crying, and that's a waste of a good pun.

Which means she has to go find somewhere to hide and wait for it to pass because if she were to sit down and write out a list of people she did not want to cry around, Estinien would be in the top 5. Especially since she came to him so she could get stronger again. Fortunately she has just enough composure left to not have to run off in tears.]

I'd better go find myself a lance. Don't want to break the gem off my staff on a training dummy.

[And with that she's walking quickly away, hands pressed over her heart with one hand around the twig-and-gem bangle she knows the meaning of now. She is going to the armory, just... hopefully without running into anyone else along the way.]

[He waves her off, and while he is ready to return to his solitude (and allow Krile her own), he starts to think better of it. If the girl is going to pick out a lance, she might need help picking out a proper one - though probably not, if she is truly experienced in combat. On the other hand, it would do him some good to see what weapons they have at their disposal...

Bah. Here he is, following after her like some nagging nursemaid. She is still a ways ahead of him, but even with his slow pace, his long legs allow him to catch up easily to her.

...just in time to notice the start of a carefully hidden crying fit. Uh. Estinien crosses his arms and glances away, doing his best to spare Krile her pride.]

I suppose I've come too soon to see if you've had any luck.

[Just keep it casual...]

[well if there was going to be karma for her dastardly ambush up on deck, this is it. because those footsteps are definitely his. not that she's looking, because she can't, because if she does then he's going to see--

She does risk a quick look when he speaks--well at least he's not staring at her. Even so she turns to face fully away as she tries to get command over herself enough to make an answer. Her first attempt is a croak, not unlike the sounds Estinien made during that misadventure--okay, try again.]

We--we sure do find a lot of junk ones. [Probably collected by their comrades who are used to fancy technological weapons and can't tell between a real spear and a pointy stick. She'd like to say that, but.] There'll be a right sized one somewhere in here.

[think about lances, think about lances. she's pretty sure estinien's is taller than herself twice over. the Holy Lance, that fitted whatever Light Warrior had it, that's legendary weapons for you. though it didn't have to be that different between Grandpa and herself. and that's what she's trying not to think about.

she's not going to tell Estinien to go away, though. because as much as she is trying to hide... she doesn't actually want to be alone.]

[It would take a fool not to recognize Krile's sob for what it was. Still, she showed no sign of wanting comfort, no sign of wanting it acknowledged at all. So, just for this moment, he would play the fool long enough to get Krile out of her own head]

Hmph! "Junk" is one way to put it - I've no idea who's taken charge of the armory, but whoever they are, they wouldn't know a proper lance if it stabbed them right in the arse.

[He picks one up at random and looks it over. Not too flimsy. Good.]

Here - test your grip on this one.

[Gosh, who is in charge? Something about the way Estinien says it makes Krile instantly picture Laguna, fleeing from a pack of outraged dragoons with his arms and legs flailing. The image sets a laugh bubbling out through the tears, and the absurdity of the sound makes her laugh again.]

That would--that would sure teach them good work from bad.

[But now she has to turn around. She doesn't want to. She knows that just facing in the other direction doesn't fool anyone, but still...

on the other hand, refusing to answer him would be pretty childish, and he's being kind and pretending this is a normal conversation instead of telling her off. besides, she is here for a weapon.]

O-okay. [ugh, no, DEEP BREATH so she can take hold of the weapon in a dignified way. Actually getting into her usual battle stance feels awkward, and it takes a moment for her to move her feet into the right spot and how to hold it for ground fighting. But it's preferable to having an imperious ghost shove her into a stance and telling her to start jumping.] A little long... but it feels familiar enough.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only